day time ciders because i took today off because today is too hard. why can’t i just cider party always? why can’t i just quit my job and become a firefighter, they’re just dignified strippers anyway. and trade my family in for some goats and have them raise me as their own. at first it’ll be weird but then they’ll learn to accept me and i will be the goat woman. then when i headbutt people they won’t be all “hey hey man wtf?” they’ll be all “oh that goats just being goaty”.

i envy birds. to be able to just fly away when everyone else remains tied down, i envy that.